Cabbage Confetti

This is not rice. Nope. Looks like it..but isn't.
It's not cauliflower either in case you might be thinking it is...
Say what?!
I got on this kick of roasting cabbage. Because you see cabbage and I aren't huge buddies. I like it kraut style..and even then it has to be in small amounts. But then I started chopping it up and roasting it..and I LOVE it.
But Hubby likes it all sorts of ways. Including boiled to death and slimy as sh.....shomething slimy. *Gags*
So the other day I'm working..subbin' at the school..and Ma is watching the kids and she texts me:
Ma: dinner?
which is Ma speak for 'do you want me to make something b/c you are working and didn't put anything in a crockpot b/f you left'
Suze: Ck in the freezer, cabbage in the fridge
Ma: baked how? cabbage what?
Ma is not a friend of cabbage either (still not)
Suze: DKG style chicken, cut up cabbage in semi small pieces, I'll roast it when I get home.
Ma: K.

For the record DKG style is 'salt, pepper, granulated garlic, some butter, splash of water' and frozen chicken breasts into the oven at 350 for about 4 hours. Perfect each time.
Her translation of 'semi small pieces' of cabbage, turned into confetti though. She seriously mini-choppered a WHOLE head of cabbage. I mean like 2x2 or 1x1...
however her Cabbage Confetti is now the staple. Even Hubs who criticizes my Ma's cooking for the salt content, has decreed from hence forth, the cabbage has to be made "Like your Mom" made it. Well, ok then.

If you have a food processor, it works bigger batches than the mini chopper. I still laugh at the image of the WHOLE head of cabbage in tiny little batches. Anyway.

Cabbage Confetti

Oven at 425-
One head of through a food processor, smaller than KFC coleslaw people.
BIG pan..I usually roast it off in my 11x14 metal cake pan, lined with parchment.

Put all your cabbage into the lined pan, then put it into the oven. If it is a HUGE cabbage, you can roast two pans at a time.
About 10 minutes in. Take it out and toss it about. You'll notice some pieces are starting to brown up a bit.
In about another 10 minutes, repeat.
And let it go until you are happy with the 'doneness'.
If your pieces go went to far..that is burnt..and burnt cabbage does not taste good. Shoot for a light brown..but still some green. You want it to look like the picture.

The result? The brown bits are carmelly and sweet. The green is still slightly crunchy. And served along side some baked shovel it in thinking it is rice. It kinda looks like rice. It doesn't taste overly cabbagey. It has ZERO carbs..and not that many calories either.'s a pain to make...BUT if you are wanting an alternative to's awesome.